Even Fox News Readers Are Like, ‘Yeah, The Tea Baggers Are Fucking Terrible’

HAHA: Here is the latest Fox News online poll thing, which confirms that the teabaggers will kill and consume us all sometime tomorrow, because of black people, ACORN, and socialism. [Fox News]

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Fox News Runs The Second Worst Poll They’ve Run This Year

Well well Fox News had soooo much fun with their last Pie Chart Of Things a few weeks ago, which revealed that 193% of Republicans support Republican candidates in 2012, they decided to gather some *new facts* from another poll. Above we find that of the standard 120% of the human population (if you include [...]

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Fox News Poll Results: 70% Of The 193% Of Republicans Support Sarah Palin in 2012

Check out Fox News’ new Pie Chart Circle of NumberyStuffs, which shows Sarah Palin leading with a plurality of support amongst all living Republicans, plus most of their dead ancestors. Funnier still is the 70% sector being shown as the smallest piece of the ‘pie’. This screenshot is the best thing ever posted on Twitter. [...]

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Glenn Beck Says The Democrats Are Just Like Roman Polanski That Time He Raped A 13 Year-Old

BUT WHAT IF HE’S RIGHT??1!?!1?!!? “We’re the young girl saying, ‘No no! Help me!’ and the government is Roman Polanski. In the end I think we’re all going to be cowering in France.” Ermm, okay. The best thing about Glenn Beck is you get to mock him publicly for being *retarded* and *insane* and *retarded*, [...]

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Moist Dung Glenn Beck Calls President Obama Racist

Glenn Beck, herpes personified and Fox News guy, went on the “Fox & Friends” morning show Tuesday, and proceeded to call Barack Obama a racist. Beck feels that in the trivial Henry Louis Gates dust-up, Barack Obama’s labeling of Cambridge police actions as ‘stupid’, makes him a racist. According to New York Daily News: He [...]

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Fox News Analyst Thinks Taliban Should Maybe Kill That Kidnapped American Soldier

LT. COL. RALPH PETERS SAID IT COULD SAVE THE U.S “A LOT OF LEGAL HASSLE”: But he went back on the O’Reilly Factor last night and softened from his earlier statements, simply calling the Pfc. Bowe Bergdahl a possibly mentally-disturbed liar and deserter. He claims to have gotten his facts from “a very senior military [...]

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Some Guy Named Michael Karolchyk Thinks Dr. Regina Benjamin Is Too Fat To Be Surgeon General

I’ve tried to steer clear of the “controversy” surrounding Surgeon General nominee Dr. Regina Benjamin, as a means of undermining, or at least, not furthering or validating the insanity of arguments pertaining to her weight. Because I don’t see what a person’s weight, color or sex have to do with their mental ability, at all, [...]

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Today’s Headlines: Al Franken Is In The Senate, Because He Was Running Against Norm Coleman

• After a litany of inane court appeals and eight months of wasting everyone’s time, Norm Coleman has finally conceded the Minnesota Senate race to comedian and talk radio host Al Franken. The thing about Norm Coleman is he would have been a loser even if he had won the election, so I’m not sure [...]

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Fox Alert: Audiences Can Now Text Hit Lists; Kill

Last night, on Faux News (see what I did there?), TeeVee personalities Geraldo Rivera and Bill O’Reilly recommended the murder of David Earls, a convicted child-rapist who was sentenced to a ridiculous one-year term for his crime. Because the problem isn’t our criminal justice system, but the fact that we cannot openly murder certain undesirables, [...]

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News Alert! Monkey On The Loose! Bright Blue Scrotum! (Fox News Has Basically Stopped Trying) [UPDATE! Video Doctored, John Gibson Did Not Say Bright Blue Scrotum. Fox Still Employs Retards]

Firstly, this clip is GRAND because the dumbbell broad they have breaking this *important* news story doesn’t seem to know if monkeys are dangerous. Hmm? Then, they go to their black lady news anchor, who some producer decided was the monkey expert, obviously. All the while the first idiot just likes saying scrotum a lot. [...]

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