THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO HUGH G. RECTION; RUINED HIS CAREER I TELLS YA! From the Foreign Policy Blog: Despite having served for years as a distinguished Pakistani diplomat, Akbar Zeb reportedly cannot receive accreditation as Pakistan’s ambassador to Saudi Arabia. The reason, apparently, has nothing to do with his credentials, and everything to do [...]
Archive for the ‘Weirdnesses’ Category
Sexy Fridays: Pakistani Diplomat Named After A Large Cock Passed Over For Ambassador Gig
Posted in Sexytime, Traveling to the Foreigns, Weirdnesses, World News, tagged but he's a hit with the ladies, fail, sad!, Sexy Fridays, what's in a name? on 02/05/2010 | Leave a Comment »
C.I.A Offers Vague Reminder Al-Qaeda Will Try To Kill Us Sometime Soon Or Whenever
Posted in Terrorisms, The End of the World, Weirdnesses, tagged Al Qaeda, oh yeah those guys, stick-to-it-iveness, terrorist updates, The CIA on 02/03/2010 | Leave a Comment »
THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP: “‘An attempted attack … is certain, I would say,’ Director of National Intelligence Dennis Blair told a Senate hearing on terror threats.” Okay cool, cuz we weren’t sure. [NY Daily News]
Al Gore Pens Terrible Poem About Death And Hot Weather
Posted in Art, Weirdnesses, tagged "poetry", Al Gore, poems that aren't Howl but want to be on 12/08/2009 | 1 Comment »
97.4% of all poetry is frighteningly awful, insipid nonsense, so why should one written by Al Gore be any different? Right? As proof, here is his new poem-thing, about climate change or some such. The glaciers, they are a-meltin’: One thin September soon A floating continent disappears In midnight sun Vapors rise as Fever settles [...]
Salem Goes Global
Posted in Sexist, The End of the World, Weirdnesses, World News, tagged madness, The End of the World, witch trials on 09/24/2009 | Leave a Comment »
Apparently, it’s 1692. Or it might as well be, according to human rights experts, who report that the murder and persecution of women and children accused of being witches is spreading around the world. Killings and violence against alleged witch women – often elderly – are becoming common in events in countries ranging from India [...]
Galactic Health Care War Finally Turns Violent; Mean Old Man Has His Finger Bitten Off By Dirty MoveOn.org Liberal Hippie Cretin
Posted in Health, The End of the World, Weirdnesses, tagged ...craaaaazzzy..., file under 'gross', fingers, health care reform, the olds on 09/03/2009 | 2 Comments »
WHY DO OLD PEOPLE’S FINGERS COME OFF SO EASILY??: This KTLA article defines the MoveOn.org folks rallying for health care reform as ‘protesters’, but uhh, how are they protesters when they’re rallying in support of the event? Anyway… There was some health care ‘thing’ in Thousand Oaks, CA, last night, with pro-reform and anti-reform peeps [...]
Posted in Health, Politicking, Sicknesses, The End of the World, Weirdnesses, Wingnuts, tagged angry mob, David Vitter, health care reform, sex fetishists, Wingnuts on 08/12/2009 | Leave a Comment »
MEANWHILE, SEN. DAVID VITTER LIKES THE ANGRY MOBS AT THE HEALTH CARE TOWN HALLS: Mr. “I Like Hookers Who Make Me Wear Diapers and Change Me When I Make A Boom-Boom” Vitter (R-La) is encouraging more angry and hostile rhetoric at his town halls because let’s organize and ‘get even’, just like they did in [...]
Dr. Bottom Introduces: Aspray, The Spray For All Your Assy-Smelling Needs
Posted in Inventions, Media, Stuff, Weirdnesses, tagged Aspray, bad advertising, dumb things, Marketing, Media, silly products, unfortunate doctor names on 07/27/2009 | 2 Comments »
Maybe it’s the schizophrenic rain storms, or the steamy, sticky July experience so singular to NYC, but I think everyone should follow Doc Bottom’s suggestions, and pick up a can of Aspray, the all-over body spray that can be used to eliminate the beastly odors emanating from your stinky butt cracks and your sweaty balls. [...]
Today’s Headlines: South Carolina Governor Lost In The Woods And Has Apparently Never Seen Deliverance
Posted in Military, Politicking, Science, Stuff, War, Weirdnesses, tagged brain trauma, drug cartels, Mark Sanford on 06/23/2009 | Leave a Comment »
• Being a 14 year-old hired killer for your local Mexican drug cartel is a pretty cool way to make a living because you get to make some money, score hot chicks, and kill people. Oh and the tattoos you get in jail? Delish… [NY Times] • An untrained idiot (like me, for instance) would [...]
Fun Fact of the Day
Posted in Traveling to the Foreigns, Weirdnesses, tagged and they allowed the name Dirk? on 05/06/2009 | Leave a Comment »
Did you know that in Germany, children’s names must be approved by local authorities? Fact! The rationale? “The state has a responsibility to protect people from idiotic forenames.” Now if only the state had a responsibility to protect people from idiotic infringements of personal expression. . . That whole Nazi tradition is hard to shake, [...]
Exciting Sex Move ‘Daggeration’ Breaking Jamaican Men’s Penises At Alarming Rate
Posted in Weirdnesses, tagged bad breaks, bad ideas, Music, stupid trends on 04/16/2009 | 2 Comments »
“DURING VERY RIGOROUS INTERCOURSE, THE PENIS SLIPS OUT AND IN AN ATTEMPT TO RAM IT BACK IN, THE MAN HITS THE WOMAN’S PUBIC BONE AND POPS THE PENIS”: Why certainly, how do you do it? This hot new trend of having sex for the purposes of breaking your dick into a thousand pieces has led [...]
Your Vile Sex Moves To Be Regulated By The Government
Posted in Lawmaking, Weirdnesses, tagged oh my god on 04/09/2009 | Leave a Comment »
LEGISLATIN’: A new proposed law in the Oregon House of Representatives would make it a second degree sex abuse crime to propel “a dangerous substance at another person”, for the purposes of sexual desire/gratification. Ok sure. You know, like a hammer, or a homeless person’s sock, right, or maybe semen, feces, urine, and blood. Indeed, [...]
Ex-NYPD Cop Goes Down
Posted in Weirdnesses, tagged genitals of cocaine on 04/08/2009 | Leave a Comment »
HERE’S YOUR LEAD: “A decorated ex-cop who claimed he tested positive for cocaine because he ingested the drug during oral sex with his [then] girlfriend can’t have his job back, a Manhattan judge has ruled.” And he broke up with her?!? But *seriously* folks, Supreme Court Justice Eileen Rakower, an extremely humorless person, denied 15-year [...]
What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Posted in Weirdnesses on 03/31/2009 | 2 Comments »
Introducing the Peekaroo, the swaddling deathfleece machine of infant strangulation. [Mom4Life: Peekaru]
Say That’s Weird
Posted in Health, Weirdnesses on 03/31/2009 | Leave a Comment »
CHECK OUT THESE STRANGE MEDICAL CONDITIONS: Such as the afflicted man who hasn’t been able to stop hiccuping for four years, and a woman who couldn’t open her eyes for three days. Oh and Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS), which causes thousands of women to feel as though they’re on the brink of orgasm every [...]
UK Pubs To Offer Smaller Wine Glasses For Women; So That They Can Get Less Trashed
Posted in Weirdnesses, tagged The UK on 03/26/2009 | 2 Comments »
So, apparently, the British government seems to think British women are a bunch of brainless automatons (read: tarts). Why else would they plan to mandate that pubs carry smaller wine glasses so that women won’t go over their “recommended daily allowance” of alcohol consumption? (that’s awesome – Editor B C) Gotta keep those darn hussies [...]
UPDATE: Remember That 13 Year-old Baby-faced Father in The UK?
Posted in Weirdnesses on 03/26/2009 | Leave a Comment »
YEAH NOT SO MUCH: We’d reported on this forever ago, the young Alfie Patten who had allegedly sired a child with his 14 year-old girlfriend Chantelle Steadman. Well DNA tests revealed he is not child’s the father. The story Chantelle and her mum conceived (get it?) about her being a virgin prior to falling for [...]
This Damned Recession
Posted in Weirdnesses on 03/26/2009 | Leave a Comment »
69 year-old Roland Auslander of Upstate New York has been accused of stashing his 98 year-old mother’s dead body in a freezer in their home. Not because he loved her in a Norman Bates sort of way, but so that he could keep cashing her Social Security checks (!!). Don’t y’all see what the “recession” [...]
It Sure Gots A Purrty Mouth
Posted in Weirdnesses on 03/26/2009 | Leave a Comment »
Jason Leroy Savage was of Michigan was sentenced to 90 days in jail for forcing a car wash vacuum cleaner to perform fellatio on him last October. He was caught when an onlooker reported ‘suspicious activity’ to police officers. There’s nothing else to say really. I allege he grew tired of his same tired old [...]
WTF?
Posted in Boredom, Stuff, Weirdnesses, tagged dumb things, Japan on 03/17/2009 | 1 Comment »
Seriously, Japan. Inquiring minds want to know. [Gizmodo]
New Jersey To Ban Brazilian Waxing
Posted in New Jersey, Weirdnesses, tagged brazilian waxing on 03/13/2009 | 1 Comment »
Brazilian waxes, and their ilk, could be banned from spas and salons, if a bill is passed by the state’s Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling (I’m going to assume every state has this board, but it just makes sense I’d first hear of the Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling in New Jersey). Salon owners predict [...]
Woman Arrested After Attempting to Inseminate Her Wife With a Turkey Baster Full of Her Brother’s Semen
Posted in Weirdnesses, tagged turkey baster on 03/13/2009 | Leave a Comment »
SURE WHY NOT: Let’s see if you can keep up with this one. Jennifer Lighten did not want to become pregnant. But Stephanie Lighten wanted her to become pregnant, for quite some time. So Stephanie decided to go out and get wasted. Then she arrived home later, fully equipped with her brother’s semen in a [...]
Double Public Masturbator Supreme; Neither ‘Comes’ With A Happy Ending (See What I Did There?)
Posted in Sexytime, Weirdnesses, tagged wankers on 03/12/2009 | Leave a Comment »
One man in Yorktown, Indiana was spanking it out by his mailbox, allegedly to show his neighbors “who was boss”. Interesting. The other, in Dade City, Florida, was gettin er done in his backyard, until his mom saw him through the window and screamed at him to stop. As for Daniel T. Doster Jr. of [...]
