Remember when America, and specifically, the United States, was mentioned by name, in the Bible, as the “chosen” nation? Yes you do, you liar. It was right there, in the Bible. Like, on page 8! Pfft. Whatever. It’ll be in the Texas school books sometime soon anyway, as proof. Cynthia Dunbar, Texas lawyer, wingnut, and [...]
Archive for the ‘Sicknesses’ Category
Texas To Re-Write School Curriculum With Whitewashed Fantasies Of Guns, Dungarees, And The Baby Jeebus
Posted in Education, Racisms, Religion, Sicknesses, Terrorisms, Texas, The End of the World, Wingnuts, tagged atheism for the win!, evangelicals, everything's dumber in Texas, irony, revisionist history, school system, Texas, Zionist history on 05/18/2010 | 2 Comments »
Posted in Lawmaking, Politicking, Racisms, Sexist, Sicknesses, The End of the World, tagged fun with laws, take that normal people!, USA! on 04/29/2010 | Leave a Comment »
HEY READ THIS THING! It’s all about the psychotic but funny legislation that is coming to pass in our “great” nation, just in the last two years. We are wacky and racist and sexist and sad. Hooray! [TPM Livewire]
Oklahoma Takes Women’s Rights Back A Century
Posted in Ladies, Lawmaking, Sexist, Sicknesses, The End of the World, Wingnuts, tagged ban everything, jesus h. christ, madness, Oklahoma! abortion rights, states to avoid on 04/28/2010 | Leave a Comment »
What the FUCK is going on in this country? Yesterday, the Oklahoma Legislature went ahead and overrode the governor’s vetoes, and passed two of the strictest abortions measure to date (or, since Roe v. Wade, anyway). The first measure requires not only that women undergo an ultrasound, but that doctors set up the monitor so [...]
Posted in Prisons, Sexist, Sicknesses, The End of the World, Wingnuts, tagged abortion rights or lackthereof, Utah on 03/05/2010 | Leave a Comment »
UPDATE: Remember that sweeping miscarriage statue in Utah that we posted about earlier this week? Well, the good news is the bill has been withdrawn and revised by the sponsor, Rep. Carl D. Wimmer (R), who removed the very controversial clause that would have allowed prosecution of “reckless” acts by women under the state’s criminal [...]
Utah Hopes To Criminalize Miscarriages
Posted in Prisons, Sexist, Sicknesses, Terrorisms, The End of the World, Wingnuts, tagged anti-abortion, anti-women, disgusting human beings, Utah, wtf on 02/24/2010 | 1 Comment »
A bill passed by the Utah House and Senate this week – and currently waiting the governor’s signature – will make it a crime for a woman to have a miscarriage, and make induced abortion a crime in some instances. The supposed purpose of the bill is to charge a woman with criminal homicide for [...]
Dick Cheney’s Fifth (!) Heart Attack Can’t Kill Him Either
Posted in Health, Sicknesses, Terrorisms, Wingnuts, tagged death, Dick Cheney, the undead on 02/23/2010 | Leave a Comment »
BECAUSE HE’S ALREADY DEAD? Ex-vice President Orlock underwent a stress test, heart catheterization, and was administered virgin blood at George Washington University Hospital today. He is said to be resting comfortably and is expected to be released in a day or two. [Wash Po]
Jonah Goldberg’s Latest Column: Yeah I Know A Few Haitians So I Can Say This…Their Country Sucks
Posted in Sicknesses, The End of the World, Traveling to the Foreigns, Wingnuts, tagged fat slobs, God hates Haitians, Haiti, Jonah Goldberg, poor people like being poor, why nepotism sucks on 01/21/2010 | 1 Comment »
We here at CTJ are always tickled when we come across the racist, elitist spewings of some slob ignoramus or other on the interwebs. Enter The National Review’s Jonah Goldberg as Douchebag of the Day. Opining on the difficulties facing Haiti – their poverty, specifically – Goldberg argues that Haiti has a “poverty culture,” which [...]
Most Of America To Be Wiped Out By Heart Disease
Posted in Animals, Health, Sicknesses, TeeVee, tagged death, health and fitness, hooray, the teevee on 01/12/2010 | Leave a Comment »
BUT I GOTS TO WATCH IDOL!! A new study by a bunch of Australian researchers, found that every hour spent watching TeeVee or sitting in front of a monitor each day increases the risk of dying from heart disease by almost a fifth (!!!). By monitoring 8,800 adults for six years, scientists found that people [...]
Hey Check Out Creepy Rod Jetton’s Creepy Mugshot Photo (Now With More Creepy!)
Posted in Animals, Sicknesses, The End of the World, Wingnuts, tagged Rod Jetton, sex creeps, when Republicans have sex on 12/09/2009 | Leave a Comment »
Look at this specimen of a man, former Missouri House Speaker Rod Jetton, who in this very photo is aggressively fondling your tits and balls, against your will. Of course you immediately kneed him in the groin in desperate hopes he would stop, but he told you ‘that’s how he likes it’, and then tried [...]
You’re In Good Hands
Posted in Sicknesses, The End of the World, tagged children, food, it's bad for ya, jesus h. christ, National School Lunch Program, USDA on 12/09/2009 | Leave a Comment »
That’s what the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) told parents, children and school officials about its National School Lunch Program. But, according to an investigation by USA Today, that’s not exactly true. As in, not at all. Here’s the money quote: “In the past three years, the government has provided the nation’s schools with millions [...]
Former Missouri House Speaker Rod Jetton Loves Rough Sex So Much…
Posted in Animals, Politicking, Sicknesses, The End of the World, Wingnuts, tagged crime blotter, green balloons, people with gay porn names, Rod Jetton, sadists, when Republicans have sex on 12/08/2009 | Leave a Comment »
…THAT HE NEARLY CHOKED AND BEAT HIS MISTRESS TO DEATH WHEN SHE DIDN’T SAY THE ‘SAFE WORD’ (PROBABLY BECAUSE SHE WAS BEING CHOKED AND BEATEN TO DEATH): Rod Jetton (R-Douche), faces felony assault charges stemming from a night of rough sex that for him, at the time, was going great! He was just co-beating the [...]
Touchy Subjects: The Catholic Church Says Other People Are Molesters Too!
Posted in Religion, Sicknesses, The End of the World, tagged atheism for the win!, heavy petting, The Catholic Church, The Vatican on 09/30/2009 | Leave a Comment »
Oh, that Vatican. In response to all the criticism over its handling (pun intended?) of its pedophilia crisis, The Holy See has released a ridiculous and offensive statement claiming that most U.S churches being hit with child sex abuse allegations were Protestant (sweet!), that Jewish communities also face sexual abuse (hooray!), and that abuse is [...]
Gay Men Attacked, Executed in Iraq
Posted in Sicknesses, Terrorisms, Traveling to the Foreigns, World News, tagged gay rights, human rights, human rights abuse, Iraq, Military, politics, Terrorisms, with extreme prejudice, World News on 08/17/2009 | 8 Comments »
Hundreds of gay men have been tortured and killed in Iraq in recent months, some by the nation’s security forces, Human Rights Watch said in a report released Monday, following interviews with Iraqi doctors. According to the organization, attackers target people on the streets or storm homes, where they conduct interrogations and demand names of [...]
Gossip Roundup UPDATE: Is Rielle Hunter The Father Of John Edwards’ Black Baby?? OF COURSE!!
Posted in Sexytime, Sicknesses, TeeVee, The End of the World, tagged baby daddies, bad parenting, john edwards, losers, paternity tests, rielle hunter on 08/14/2009 | Leave a Comment »
BABY DADDIES: Helmet-haired hack John Edwards will admit today, on the teevee (ugh), that he had baby-producing sex with that nutball videographer lady, while his wife was sick with the cancer. Guess he was right about those Two Americas – there’s one where you impregnate some jackass clown while your wife is gravely infirmed, and [...]
Posted in Health, Politicking, Sicknesses, The End of the World, Weirdnesses, Wingnuts, tagged angry mob, David Vitter, health care reform, sex fetishists, Wingnuts on 08/12/2009 | Leave a Comment »
MEANWHILE, SEN. DAVID VITTER LIKES THE ANGRY MOBS AT THE HEALTH CARE TOWN HALLS: Mr. “I Like Hookers Who Make Me Wear Diapers and Change Me When I Make A Boom-Boom” Vitter (R-La) is encouraging more angry and hostile rhetoric at his town halls because let’s organize and ‘get even’, just like they did in [...]
Wearing Flip-Flops Will Kill You, Maybe
Posted in Health, Sicknesses, The End of the World, tagged death, feet are gross, flip flops on 08/11/2009 | Leave a Comment »
They only harbor a mere 18,100 strains of bacteria, including some possibly deadly strains of staph. Hm. Can’t we just give all the infectious diseases to people who wear Crocs?? [NY Daily News]
Yes We Can, With Fries
Posted in Animals, Sicknesses, The End of the World, tagged a cheese and bacon salad is not a salad, gross, Health, obesity on 07/03/2009 | Leave a Comment »
The folks at the Trust for America’s Health (TFAH) and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation (RWJF) have NestleTM crunched the numbers and released their report on American obesity, and oh boy is it a doozy. The F as in Fat: How Obesity Policies Are Failing in America 2009 has revealed these whoppers: • In the [...]
Child Abuse Rises with Recession
Posted in Sicknesses, tagged child abuse, Economy on 04/17/2009 | Leave a Comment »
According to reports throughout the country, child abuse in the United States is on the rise, and associated specifically from the increased psychological and financial distress on families resulting from the economic crisis our country has been experiencing over the last 18 months. Boston hospitals have seen twice as many cases in the last three [...]
Holy Thursday Reports
Posted in Religion, Sicknesses on 04/09/2009 | Leave a Comment »
OPERATION SHOCK AND AWE: “The Archbishop of Dublin said Thursday that an upcoming report on child sexual abuse involving Catholic priests will likely reveal that thousands of youngsters were abused from 1975 to 2004.” Happy Easter everybody!! Archbishop Diarmuid Martin said during mass at Dublin’s Por-Cathedral the report “will shock us all” (though the thousands [...]
The Roman Catholic Church of Brazil Has Its Priorities In Order
Posted in Health, Sicknesses, World News, tagged Roman Catholic Church on 03/05/2009 | Leave a Comment »
The Brazil Archdiocese is up in arms because a 9 year-old girl, pregnant with twins after “allegedly” being raped by her stepfather, was allowed an abortion. Abortion is illegal in Brazil, except in extreme cases. According to Marcio Miranda, this is not one of them. A lawyer for the Archdiocese, Miranda says the girl should [...]
New Phrases People Will Begin Using, To Bother Me
Posted in Internet, Sicknesses on 03/04/2009 | Leave a Comment »
‘TEXTUAL HARRASSMENT’ THE NEW WAY TO MINDFUCK OLD FLAMES AND STRANGERS: A recently released U.S Justice Department report “found 23 percent of stalking or harassment victims reported in 2006 that the stalker had used some form of cyberstalking, such as cell phone texting or e-mail.” Who woulda thunk it? And it’s so good people are [...]
Hot New Trends: Sleaze
Posted in Sicknesses, Terrorisms on 02/26/2009 | Leave a Comment »
‘UPSKIRTING’ ON THE RISE: You know, with cell phone cameras, etc. Yeah so, I’m never going to wear a skirt again. [Guardian UK] [Ed. Note: Eh. I still might - B C]
