…BY PUBLICLY ANNOUNCING TO REPORTERS THAT HE’S TRYING TO REKINDLE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS ARGENTINE PARAMOUR: Gov. Sanford of South Carolina told reporters on Wednesday that he spent last weekend in Florida with his ex “side piece” trying to resuscitate their goings on. And we quote: “As a matter of record, everybody in this room knows [...]
Archive for the ‘Sexytime’ Category
Mark Sanford Trying To Rekindle Sexin’ Relationship With Argentine Paramour…
Posted in Politicking, Sexytime, Wingnuts, tagged Argentina, Mark Sanford, old flames on 05/13/2010 | Leave a Comment »
Gay Sensation George Rekers Says He’s Not Gay
Posted in Sexytime, Traveling to the Foreigns, Wingnuts, tagged closeted republicans, George Rekers, liars, long stroke, Rentboy, self-loathing on 05/13/2010 | Leave a Comment »
George Rekers, Rentboy.com visitor, alleged long stroke enthusiast, and board member of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH), is now just a simple Rentboy.com visitor and alleged long stroke enthusiast, as he has resigned his post as a board member at NARTH. Because he’s not gay. From TPM Muckraker: “I am [...]
George Rekers Fancies The Long Stroke, And Who Doesn’t?!?
Posted in Sexytime, Traveling to the Foreigns, Wingnuts, tagged closeted republicans, George Rekers, Luck of Lucien, naked platonic rubdowns, Rentboy, Republican hijinks on 05/06/2010 | Leave a Comment »
Getting to the bottom of things here (shut up), it seems George Rekers’ rented boy, from Rentboy.com, is divulging details of their dalliance across Europe. Speaking with the Miami New Times, “Lucien” reveals that the pair did not, in fact, have sex. Lame. Instead, Rekers spent most of the days letting “Lucien” beat him off. [...]
George Rekers, Family Research Council Co-Founder, Likes It When Male Prostitutes Handle His Bags Across Europe
Posted in Sexytime, Traveling to the Foreigns, Wingnuts, tagged atavistic mustaches, closeted republicans, crotch-rubbing twinks, George Rekers, Republican hijinks, whoops on 05/05/2010 | Leave a Comment »
Remember when you took that vacation to Europe, and you needed help carrying your luggage, so you went online to Rentboy.com and found a gay male prostitute who helped you carry that luggage, and it was awesome, but some people took it the wrong way and were like, ‘Wait what the fuck?’ Well, the same [...]
Young White Babies To Be Outnumbered By Young ‘Other’ Babies In America, Sometime Soon!
Posted in Science, Sexytime, Stuff, The End of the World, tagged get er done, Mexicans!, oh noes!, USA!, white people on 03/10/2010 | 1 Comment »
SHIT IS ON: From the AP: “Minorities make up nearly half the children born in the U.S., part of a historic trend in which minorities are expected to become the U.S. majority over the next 40 years. In fact, demographers say this year could be the “tipping point” when the number of babies born to [...]
Vatican Bummed Out About Gay Sex Allegations
Posted in Religion, Sexytime, Traveling to the Foreigns, tagged awesomeness, gay sex, prostitution, scandals, The Vatican on 03/05/2010 | Leave a Comment »
HERE’S THE LEAD OF THE WEEK: “A singer in an elite Vatican choir and a jailed Italian public works executive who served as a papal usher were let go by the Vatican this week amid allegations that they were involved in what prosecutors believe was an organized network of gay prostitution, Italian news media reported.” [...]
Survey Reveals Many Men Take Off Badly Fitting Condoms During Sex; Whether These Men Realize The Condoms Cease Working After Being Thrown On The Floor Is Another Matter Altogether
Posted in Sexytime, The End of the World, tagged Africa, condom use, death, ill-fitting contraceptives, STDs, there is a Sexually Transmitted Infections Journal! on 02/16/2010 | Leave a Comment »
HERE’S YOUR LEAD: “Men are twice as likely to take the condom off midway through sex due to a poor fit, a poll of 436 men in Sexually Transmitted Infections journal reveals.” Twice as likely to take it off, then to do what? The article doesn’t really say. (Mostly because this is a terribly written [...]
Sexy Fridays: Pakistani Diplomat Named After A Large Cock Passed Over For Ambassador Gig
Posted in Sexytime, Traveling to the Foreigns, Weirdnesses, World News, tagged but he's a hit with the ladies, fail, sad!, Sexy Fridays, what's in a name? on 02/05/2010 | Leave a Comment »
THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO HUGH G. RECTION; RUINED HIS CAREER I TELLS YA! From the Foreign Policy Blog: Despite having served for years as a distinguished Pakistani diplomat, Akbar Zeb reportedly cannot receive accreditation as Pakistan’s ambassador to Saudi Arabia. The reason, apparently, has nothing to do with his credentials, and everything to do [...]
Sexy Fridays: Bed Warmers!
Posted in Sexytime, Traveling to the Foreigns, tagged bed warmers, good ideas, Sexy Fridays, someone jizzed on mine on 01/22/2010 | Leave a Comment »
Today’s Creepy Sexy Friday! is brought to you by Holiday Inn. The international hotel chain is offering a trial human bed-warming service at three hotels in Britain this month. Basically, if a guest requests it, a “willing” staff member will dress in an all-in-one fleece sleeper suit, and slip between the sheets, to warm up [...]
John Edwards Is America’s New Baby Daddy
Posted in Media, Politicking, Sexytime, TeeVee, tagged john edwards, rielle hunter on 01/21/2010 | Leave a Comment »
SHOCKERS: Disgraced human John Edwards, after months of changing poopy diapers, finally admitted today that he would not have been changing said poopy diapers, if they weren’t the poopy diapers of his little daughter. Awwww: “I am Quinn’s father. I will do everything in my power to provide her with the love and support she [...]
Democratic Strategist James Carville Welcomes Our New Penis Length-Scrutinizing Security Measures
Posted in Politicking, Sexytime, Terrorisms, tagged airport security, civil liberties, James Carville, size queens, talking heads, those with impressive girth fly first class!, USA! on 01/08/2010 | Leave a Comment »
James Carville, Sunday talkshow circuit whore and Mary Matalin’s long-suffering husband, is looking forward to America’s latest breach of privacy and dignity – the new X-ray machines coming to an airport near you. He figures, if it’s a matter of national security to analyze my cock, well then, have at it! “Let me buy a [...]
Oral Roberts Is Deader Than Hell, But Let’s Listen To Him Talk About Sex!
Posted in Religion, Sexytime, tagged death, dirty old men, gross, horror, later bro, Oral Roberts, sexytime but not really on 12/15/2009 | Leave a Comment »
Noted televangelist and Oral Roberts died of pneumonia at 91 years old today, and oh well enough about that. Let’s listen to some archaic tapes of him talking about sex, and how to get ‘er done, hetero style. “Go on…go on over there and touch it! Put your arms around her…put your hands on her [...]
Capitalism No Longer Measures Up To Communism; Wonders If It Should Rethink Everything
Posted in Sexytime, The End of the World, Traveling to the Foreigns, World News, tagged 'el problema de Cuba...', Cuban Missile Crisis, hooray, penis implants, sexy mondays on 11/23/2009 | Leave a Comment »
On Friday, the Cuban government officially approved its first free penis implants for all the men in the country whose sexual suffering has not responded to ‘traditional treatments’ (measuring it in cm). This news is sure to be steeped in the envy and political identity crisis of commie-hating, true-blue American males everywhere. Reds have always [...]
United States Continues To Burn Up The Charts With Its Hit Record ‘STD It To Me Baby (Gimme Gimme Dat Azz)’
Posted in Sexytime, The End of the World, tagged CDC, sexy time, STDs, USA! on 11/21/2009 | Leave a Comment »
SCOPE OUT THESE HOT LYRICS!! “Chlamydia and gonorrhea are stable at unacceptably high levels and syphilis is resurgent after almost being eliminated,” said John Douglas, director of the division of sexually transmitted diseases at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “We have among the highest rates of STDs of any developed country in [...]
How Big Of A Whore Are You, Really?
Posted in Sexytime, tagged it burns when you pee, sex, STDs, you are gross, you have banged everyone on 09/24/2009 | Leave a Comment »
HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS MAN? YES, INDIRECTLY! The British pharmacy Lloyds has launched a sexual partners “calculator”, that lets one figure out how many indirect sexual partners s/he has had, based on the “six degress of separation” theory. Check it out! The results are not pretty! [Sex Degrees of Separation via The Independent UK]
Michael Duvall Tries To Lie His Way Out Of His Grossness
Posted in Sexytime, Wingnuts, tagged he was framed!, Michael D. Duvall, so messy!, well i'm convinced! on 09/10/2009 | 3 Comments »
Former California Assemblyman Michael “Huge Splooge” Duvall never had affairs, friends! (According to Michael “Huge Splooge” Duvall.) He was simply spinning a yarn … telling stories … kicking out the jams, etc. He never came down that lady’s leg fer serious … he was just talking about if he had come down her leg, in [...]
Well That Was Fast! Michael D. Duvall Has Resigned!
Posted in Politicking, Sexytime, Wingnuts, tagged he's got spunk!, Michael D. Duvall, quitters, you kiss yer mother with that mouth? on 09/09/2009 | Leave a Comment »
PREMATURE EVACUATION: Geez, this guy! Michael ‘Grampappy Drips’ Duvall didn’t even let us get in an entire day of laughter at his expense. The 54 year-old California Assemblyman has resigned, effective immediately, because he embarrassed Common Sense and Decency by prattling on about his load + some dame’s leg = AWESOMETOWN. Let this be a [...]
Orange County Assemblyman Caught On Open Mic Regaling Everyone With Ribald Tales About His Semen And Gravity
Posted in Politicking, Sexytime, Wingnuts, tagged Michael D. Duvall, sperm whales, the sanctity of marriage on 09/09/2009 | Leave a Comment »
POLITICAL LEAKS: Michael D. Duvall, Orange County’s 72nd Assembly District representative, a conservative Republican, a newly-made member of the Rules Committee that oversees member ethics (hahaha), and a champion of the sanctity of marriage (i.e. he hates gay marriage) … well … he just bones lady lobbyists, on the side, so so much! Hooray! Lucky [...]
Gossip Roundup UPDATE: Is Rielle Hunter The Father Of John Edwards’ Black Baby?? OF COURSE!!
Posted in Sexytime, Sicknesses, TeeVee, The End of the World, tagged baby daddies, bad parenting, john edwards, losers, paternity tests, rielle hunter on 08/14/2009 | Leave a Comment »
BABY DADDIES: Helmet-haired hack John Edwards will admit today, on the teevee (ugh), that he had baby-producing sex with that nutball videographer lady, while his wife was sick with the cancer. Guess he was right about those Two Americas – there’s one where you impregnate some jackass clown while your wife is gravely infirmed, and [...]
Gossip Roundup: Is Rielle Hunter The Father Of John Edwards’ Black Baby??
Posted in Politicking, Sexytime, tagged john edwards, losers, politics, pregnancy tests on 08/13/2009 | Leave a Comment »
MAYBE? The National Enquirer says so, and you KNOW they ain’t never lied! [National Enquirer]
Overcrowded Earth To Get More Overcrowded in 2010
Posted in Sexytime, The End of the World, World News, tagged China, hmmm about those death panels..., India, overpopulation, sexing on 08/12/2009 | Leave a Comment »
A report released today forecasts the world’s population will hit 7 billion next year, with the vast majority of its growth coming in developing, and often poorest nations. And it only took us 12 years to get here from 6 billion (!!), an unprecedented event in world history. You know what else will be unprecedented [...]
Cool News
Posted in Health, Inventions, Sexytime, tagged AIDS, AIDS prevention, new things, Science on 08/10/2009 | Leave a Comment »
Scientists at the University of Utah have developed a new kind of “molecular condom” to protect women from AIDS. Since the first step in the process of HIV infection in a woman is the virus diffusing from semen to vaginal tissue, scientists focused their efforts specifically on stopping that first step. The result? A vaginal [...]
Sexy Fridays: Advancements in Beachwear
Posted in Boredom, Fashion, Inventions, Sexytime, tagged bad fashion, dumb things, offensive inventions, Sexy Fridays, stupid trends, you no longer have to wonder how big it is or what he's dreaming about on 08/07/2009 | Leave a Comment »
Finally! A place to warehouse your boner, for those times you’re on sitting on the beach, getting a boner…what? [Village Voice] Note: Some photos NSFW And of course, there’s the new Naked Bikini, invented in Germany for men looking to exact revenge on an ex after a bad break up. Good grief people. [The Sun [...]
